I was packing my stuff for my Camiguin trip when I saw this composition I wrote almost four years ago. You can probably imagine the sentiments I had at that very moment.
PRINCESS PLEA
I remembered before that my greatest dream is to finally meet my prince. I am or was a hopeless romantic and all that crap maybe. I have never known what it’s like to have a romantic partner in my life; mine was solely base on daydreams and sappy movies I’ve seen like a zillion times. So my idea of a relationship was basically ideal and anything you can
imagine of from a damsel in distress. But fairytale has to end one day because this time it’s for real. I met him. The real life man of my dreams, the man whom I can always imagine to be my prince, the man who turns my life into a fairytale and the half of me that makes me whole. But to tell you, things are not all about fantasies. I didn’t expect that my greatest dream could give so much pain. That having your great love could also mean having to shed so many
tears. Someone once told me that once you commit yourself in a relationship, you should be ready to get hurt and cry. And there was more to that, I suppose.
My perception of a relationship was that of which your behalf would never do anything that would hurt you or he won’t even let any tear fell from you eyes. But reality wise, I was all wrong. The more you love the person, the more tears you will shed. He made me cry for so many times and for so many reasons. Words that were not meant to be said were told. I have with me a shattered heart and a silent scream of painful tears bombarded within. We keep on hurting each other. Our differences boil out which lead to conflicts and constant fights. There was a point in our relationship when I have to ask myself if I can still be foolish enough to let him hurt me. And I was crazy and all that because I end up forgiving him like what I usually do. I lowered down my inflated ego. I even apologize for things I didn’t even do. This is the folly thing about love; when you tend to do things which never in your entire life would you imagine doing it.
But the irony stands, the more I am hurt, the more I continue to love him. Because no matter how much we hurt each other we always end up loving each other more. That despite the puffy eyes he caused me, spent from too much sobbing, I still can’t imagine giving up and seeing myself with somebody else. Nobody could ever send me jolts and shivers down my spine with that soft delicate touch. Nobody could give me butterflies in my stomach the way he does. Only that face can make me smile and cry-for-no-reason-at-all at the same time, because that is the face of the only man I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with. Nobody could ever watch me sleep and play with my lips the way he does. Nobody could tell me
that I look so beautiful even if I just wear the simplest outfit. Nobody could ever tell me that I have something in my teeth or patiently wipe the ketchup spill in my cheeks. Nobody could ever sacrifice the last piece of his food just for me to be happy even if we have the same share. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody but him. Only him alone can hurt me this much because only him I can love this much. And because only him alone can give up everything in this world but never the love of his life.
I was hurt. I am hurt. And I know, I would still be hurt. But this pain I’ve been going through is the kind of pain I never regret going back again and again.
